"The flower man sets to work, replacing brokenness with beauty..."

First, go watch The Flower Man.

I am called to be a "flower man." And wow on the way that this video has reminded me about what God has called me to. Thankful for sweet reminders and tokens of God's redemptive love.

It's a good day.

I am so in awe of how good and gentle God is today. All day, I have heard faint whispers of "I love you," and "I see you." from my Father. It has been in the small things. Like, having time to make myself tea and getting to class on time without feeling rushed and, the weather being so perfect and, getting a phone call saying that I don't have to work. God is constantly doing little things to woo my heart and today, I have felt them. Today, I am feeling wooed and pursued and loved today. I feel free to dream, to delight in the little things. I am allowing my Father to catch my heart off guard with the little things. I am thankful.

For a while recently, I really struggled with feeling forgotten. I felt like everyone was gone and I was left here alone. I feel like today was a day of God reminding me that he has not forgotten. He sees me and he cares. Then I start to remember my whole story, and if my story has one underlying theme, it is that  God is Jehovah-Jireh and he is so faithful. God is taking the lie that he has forgotten me and  turning it completely upside down. Thanks be to God.

Freedom in the LIGHT

Go on and ask me anything

What do you need to know?

I'm not holding on to anything
I'm not willing to let go of
To be free, to be free

I've got to ask you something
Please don't be afraid
There's a promise here
That's heavier than your answer might weigh
Baby, it's me, it's me

It's a sweet, sweet thingStanding here with you and nothing to hide
Light shining down to our very insides
Sharing out secrets, baring our souls
Helping each other come clean

Secrets and ciphers
There's no good way to hideThere's redemption in confession
And freedom in the light
I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid

It's a sweet, sweet thing
Standing here with you and nothing to hide
Light shining down to our very insides
Sharing out secrets, baring our souls
Helping each other come clean
Better than our promises
Is the day we got to keep them
Wish those two could see us now
They never would believe howThere are different kinds of happy
Different kinds of happy
There are different kinds of happy
Different kinds of happy

And it's a sweet, sweet thing
Standing here with you and nothing to hide
Light shining down to our very insides
Loving each other
It's a sweet, sweet thing
Standing here with you and nothing to hide
Light shining down to our very insides
Loving each other, knowing each other
Helping each other
Oh, sharing our secrets, baring our souls
Helping each other come clean


Different Kinds of Happy by Sara Groves


OK, yes. This song is about marriage, but I haven't heard a song that speaks to my heart more in a really  long time. Freedom in the light has been such a theme in my life. I've been thinking a lot about exposure this week. I desperately miss being in a community that valued exposure. Honestly, I just miss living in COMMUNITY. The past few days, I've been feeling really nostalgic, and I don't think it's a good thing. One year ago, I had just come home from my last fall camp as a high school student, just ended a week of 24/7 prayer, and was 2 weeks away from being finished with my last musical of high school. WOW. That is a really overwhelming thought for me. I long to be back there. Everything was so seamless for me then. It was a mountain top. The people that I was sharing life with loved and lived loudly and it was lovely. Different season, Different Kinds of Happy. In all reality, I wouldn't give up where I am now for the world. I really do love a lot of things that I have going for me right now. I am learning that this valley is a beautiful place to be. The valley is where I am made more like Christ. It is here that I am being refined. And I am learning to be transparent and exposed all over again. God sees me learning to be transparent and says, "Beloved, that is PURE GOLD. I value that." He has always been faithful. He has always provided. That is not just what God does, thats who he is. I am choosing JOY. I am choosing to live in the fact that God does not forget, God will provide me with community wherever I am, and that I am being made more like Christ in this season.

When I grow up, I want to live in a TREE HOUSE.

     This is one of my impossible dreams. I want my home to be in a tree. When I tell people this, I generally get responses like, "Oh. Thats really cool." or, "Um. How do you plan on making that happen?" What people don't realize is that I'm dead serious. I legitimately want to live in a tree house. And I want it to be like a house. Like, with plumbing and electricity and stuff. And I am dead serious. 
     Because of this strange obsession, I bought a book called Exceptional Treehouses, and I am OBSESSED with it. It has a lot of pictures of really cool treehouses in France. It also has little paragraphs about each tree house. I didn't notice these for a while, but they are there! And some of them are really cool and FULL of the Holy Spirit. Things like, "Dreaming up a tree house requires a whole new way of thinking. You must uproot old habits, and ignore the norm, and never set your sights too low." And my favorite on of the whole book, "Who else but a tree can boast of having its feet planted in the earth and its head in the clouds? Perhaps the adult who is bent on fulfilling his or her simple childhood dreams."
   This has got be thinking. God has called me to dream big things, yes, but I am called to dream these big things while still having my roots in the ground. When I hear the word "rooted" my mind instantly goes back to my sophomore year of high school sitting on the floor of Emily's house studying Ephesians 3. Oh, how I long to be rooted and established in love. I long for my roots to grow deep into Christ himself. Roots of big trees are impossible to move. I want my roots to be so deep in the love of Christ that they are unmovable. 



"I pray that from his glorious, unlimited resources he will empower you with inner strength through his Spirit. Then Christ will make his home in your hearts as you trust in him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.
Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:16-21

Flop.

That is how I feel right now. And I just want someone to flop on to someone who understands my flop. And I don't know why. Today, I have just been an emotional basket case. The littlest things have set me off. Like, at Dunkin Donuts, I thought they were out of pumpkin donuts! And I got really sad about it for a second. What the crap?? Meh. I just feel like I've been going constantly. And I haven't had a minute to stop. And I like to stop. I NEED to stop. Just rest. I'm seriously considering just going for one day. Just being completely out of touch with the world. Like, turn off the phone, drive somewhere and be with Jesus. And honestly, I don't know what's stopping me. So, decided right now as I type, I am taking a Jesus day SOON.

I am just learning to rest in the fact that our God is JEHOVAH-JIREH and JEHOVAH-SHALOM. He is a God who provides and He is a God of peace. He is also a God that longs to take me on a grand adventure that brings glory to His name. He is singing over me, "Dear One, rise up and come away with me! Find in me all that you need and all that you want! I long to be near you! And I long for the desires of MY HEART to become the desires of your heart! You are becoming! My LOVE becomes you! I see transformation. I see you. I know you. I love you." Uh. Wow. What a song. And it is being sung over ME. Who am I to turn my back on such an invitation? Jesus, help me to RUN towards YOU.

Dreaming and Being Crafty.

This was an odd weekend for many reasons. Number 1. My great grandma died, so I had to go to her funeral. Which was weird. And kind of hard. What made it really hard was that it was the 2nd funeral I had to go to within a 2 month time span, because my grandpa died in August. But this isn't supposed to be a sad post. SO, it won't be. (And for my friends who KNOW me that are reading this, I am not pushing it away. I really am OK. I love you for knowing me and loving me well, though.) Number 2. We went to visit my grandma who is sick. It was a really fun time just to rest there and be with my mom, my sister, and my grandma. It was a pretty relaxed time together, which I know that I really needed. Number 3. I had one of the strangest dreams of my life. There were friends, and flowers, and zombie-ish creatures. I am still not really sure what to do with it. And last but not least, Number 4. I spent my Friday night doing crafts all by myself. And it was SO GOOD. It was absolutely exactly what I needed. I made 5 scarves, 3 flannel and 2 out of a t-shirt, (3 of which are being shipped to my friends), and I painted a t-shirt for a friend. It was such a good night for me to rest and be alone. I am absolutely the kind of person that THRIVES on alone time. Without it, I am not very pleasant and last week, I had not really gotten any and needed time to process. So, what did I do? I made scarves. And it was lovely. Twas all around a pretty jolly weekend, though. Which ended with a random trip to Maryville to use a coupon :)

But for real life. The past few days, God has been challenging me to DREAM. Woah. It's almost as if he is whispering to me, "Princess, what do you want? What is it that you desire? And do you believe that I placed those dreams in you and am big enough to make them come true?" Yikes. Do I believe that? I want to. With my whole heart. But do I? Do I really believe that? How would the way that I live my life be different if I actively walked in that? Thats where my head and heart are. Maybe later this week you will hear some of my dreams, because they are very heavy on my heart. But for now, it is bed time. Goodnight world!

What the flip do you do with no power?

Nothing, apparently. My power was been out at least since I got home around 4:45, and probably even before that. It came back on around 6:15. And what did I do while my power was out? Panic. That is all I did for an entire hour and a half. Why was I panicking? Well, my number 1 reason to panic: My phone was dying and since the power was out, I couldn't charge it. I tried plugging it into my dying computer, but that only worked for about 10 minutes. Which leads me to question why my phone is so necessary to my life. Why do I always have to have it in my hand? And why am I so afraid of being without it? Not a fun thing to wonder about. Number 2 reason to panic: I was home alone for most of the time the power was out. My sister came home around 5:45ish, but was getting ready to leave for a birthday party, so I still felt alone, which leads to me wonder why I need to feel connected. And if I needed to be connected so badly, why didn't I just get in my car and drive somewhere? Really, Maggie? Way to be ridiculous. So, pretty much, I spent an hour of my life panicking for absolutely no reason. Now, I'm sitting here, with the power on, wondering why I made such a big deal of all of this. Conclusion? If I start freaking out when the power in my house is out for an hour and a half, what would I do if the Power of God went out? I would probably turn into a puddle on the floor. I am really thankful that that one is never going to go out. I guess I just needed to be reminded that God is not going any where. Good one, God.

What am I getting myself into?

Here I am... I never thought I would get sucked into the world of blogging, but maybe it will be nice to get my thoughts out. To process and to be held accountable for my processing. It's a scary thought. I am well aware of the risk I am taking. The risk of allowing myself to be known. To be vulnerable. But it is good and a necessary risk for me to be taking in this season of my life. I am a dreamer and I will allow myself to dream here. Everything from short term dreams, to dreams for the rest of my life. Be aware that this could get messy. EXPOSURE is messy. But it is a good and joyful thing. I am thankful that the LIGHT exposes me. This blog will be a tool to help me walk in LIGHT.

"But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says,
   'Awake, O sleeper,
   and arise from the dead,
and Christ will shine on you.'" Ephesians 5:13-14